Sis has been married 3 times already, and bro is still married, but is miserable as his wife treats him the same as mom treats dad. And the thought of a Pentecostal being in to kinky, spanking fetishes is hilarious. It was confusing because it felt no different than when I was at home. Lone, there are a few Biblical objections to role playing, S& M, and the like. Was your church aware of what was going on? At first Ben was not consistent, and didnt spank me nearly hard enough. This may help you win a popularity contest in this community, but if you really are a spiritual man and aspire to justice, I would quote Proverbs 28:5 : Evil men do not understand justice, But those who seek the LORD understand all things. And, isnt that just your whole argument? Did you even read the post? If a principle were biblical, it could and work equally for all people. My husband is simply the boss of my home. Becki, everydaymiracles.hubpages.com, 8. Because my Jack is taking the lead. It may be more difficult in your 30s, and may never happen. Change), You are commenting using your Facebook account. It is not for you to determine someones path of recovery. The call to statistics to justify that since it has to be abusive most of the time, it would be better to simply outlaw it. I do not and will not oblige him in his depravity. I do not want a world in which wife beating makes a come back with rage. 50 SHADES OF GREY AND PATRIARCHY: WHAT EXACTLY DID WE EXPECT? Apparently intheir world, girls do not grow up . I dont expect you to see it. This bullying is a means to exploitation, like most bullying. Its not right. My father hated women and little girls, he hated raped little girls, he hated two year old little girls. The worst things always begins with good intentions, but it only takes a couple of fixes to totally corrupt Gods truth and turn order into confusion. My father could sit on his self worshipping bottom the whole time my mother suffered through pregnancy and birth, he did not have to dread horrific genital pain, he sure got a thrill that she did. Aspire to knowledge and aspire to love, declare yourself ignorant and humble and you will find justice and wisdom for God does not reveal himself to arrogant people and this is why you are in darkness on this matter., This is another thing you do: you cover the altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping and with groaning, because He no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand. Many of them are even written by women in these relationships. I told Jamin I saw marks on [redacted] neck and they appeared to have been caused by the end of fingers, possibly nails. I was sternly told by my husband to go to the bathroom because we needed to talk. Most will realize when they watch Pat Robertsons clip on moving to Saudi Arabia so a husband cant beat his wife, that Pat Robertson was joking not insisting. As far as this message is concerned I understand and respect your point. 1Pet 3:1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; 2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. . BeenThereDoneThat, No, actually, you cant. Time to go. 1Tim 2:12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. ISIS loves it. It is almost enough to make me hope that the doctrine of eternal conscious punishment is true, at least for some whose evil actions in this life are especially egregious. If you are currently living (or have lived) the Christian Domestic Discipline lifestyle and you would like to share how it has helped your marriage or relationship, please email your story and mention that you wish to share your experiences with other people. AND GUESS WHAT?? Rather he actually comes abusing by accusing. (Do you know the difference between them?) When I asked abut their secret, the answer was usually a giggle and, You should take the class on preparing your self to be a Godly wife. When I took the class that is where the concept of a CDD relationship came from. It was about a year ago now. Eph 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. My head went spinning. I wasnt mad at my husband I knew I earned my punishment. I have a dear friend in a marriage filled with Spiritual Abuse. I dont know where the line is, but looking back now I think I can say that spanking even at 14 or 15 was not right and certainly not up to the age I was. However you and Anne, and all the other self-congratulating politically-correct thinkers in this thread are quite prompt to label other people mentally sick. But to broaden that out and say that no woman should ever be spanked tramples on individual conscience. Im not a 15 year old kid still living under my fathers and mothers authority. In this first article we will demonstrate how the practice of domestic discipline aligns perfectly with Biblical principles and commands regarding marriage. When you get to point of saying that none of these can be Christian women and if they are, they jolly well need to repent of their sin, then you are straining at gnats. As time went on, Ben became stricter and stricter with me, and my maintenance spankings have decreased from once a day, which lasted for over 6 months, to the now twice a week, Wednesday evening before our prayer meeting, and Sunday evening before Sunday bible study. General: Dont like scripture when it disagrees with your prejudices, you guys, do you? I was so embarrassed! That day we were getting ready to spend the day with my parents. I would be fine with the term myself if used in that manner, but the word feminism unfortunately is usually associated with left wing, radical types who tend to do things like support abortion, and a lot of them vote Democrat. I did go back and find the entire 700 club episode from that day and InContext it was very understandable. Say for example, they are asked to bring another into the relationship/marriage bed, or commit a crime, because I have heard that from women. His wife helps with the teaching too. You get all edgy. Your attempt to broad brush all who disagree with you as feminists does not work. I was hoping the article was good no to come out and say that all hitting, whether it is an adult or child, is assault, but I didnt see that. You have also obviously been influenced by kinky secular culture, such as books and films that promote S&M. Im over 40 years of age and in charge of my own life. I get two on Sunday, one in the morning before worship, and one in the evening before bible study. Calling it just a spanking in some ways covers up what is going on, I think. . If some of them change their mind at some point, this is ok, but their testimonies do not make the lifestyle an abuse. He will do it for 30 days at a time, but will give me another 30 right after the first if he thinks the first didnt make me submissive enough, during my everyday spankings. But since then youve gone on to talk as though male headship is required in all Christian marriages, and as though feminism is some kind of dirty word. As a right wing, social conservative, I disagree with most secular left wing feminism. :^). As a society have always restricted what two consenting adults can do. I really think this is biblical. They did not see his authority as abusive, but appropriate. My father made us go to church three times a week, and he read us the bible every night. No, Bike Bubba, by role play I meant dressing up as a type, not as another person. It is only going to increase as people go frustrated by the negative effects of domestic ideology on their happiness and increasingly get to the point of questioning everything. If adults have the right to spank those who disagree with them, well, I shudder to think of all the spank-fests thatd happen on every count; in every church meeting, every work-place. I never heard or suspected anything growing up. Christian Domestic Discipline, wife spanking, Christian Patriarchy Movement, Spanking of Adult Children, Denominational Practices and teachings Two summers ago, I received a phone call from a pastor who shared his growing concern about wife-spanking in his family of churches. TIL hitting your spouse is the key to making relationships work. He just put his belt back on and left the room with the door open. Yes, Im guilty of being obscure at times. Many want a "guide", a manual to show them how to do it. But that pastor I am speaking about, if she is worth her salt, will speak better words than me. Isnt bullying between two consenting children? [redacted] said Jamin has used pornography as a means of punishment towards [redacted]. If he is afraid, he can call the cops. I dont think I have the right to question how my husband corrects me. couples are a mess, for all the talk women abuse is nowhere close to being fixed but now masculinity is also in a crisis. Even without saying the word spanking, it would be easy for a husband sitting in a pew to take that kind of teaching and think that a pastor was giving his stamp of approval for wife spanking to get her under control. It was very difficult because it was not like I had a black eye or bruises. Watts' first-hand experience of Fundamentalist Christian male dominance is pretty sobering. Watts' first-hand experience of Fundamentalist Christian male dominance is pretty sobering. Those verses are being filtered by you through a patriarchy lens; they do not teach or support male authority over women, nor do they limit all women of all times, cultures, and churches from leading and teaching. Weenies are gettin chopped yall. Testimonials of Loving Domestic Discipline, The role of play in a Christian Domestic Discipline relationship. Didnt the APA decide homosexuality is just fine? It ranged anywhere from a swat or two over my clothing up to him pulling down my pants for episodes that left me bawling. I dont consider Christian mutuality to be the same thing as feminism, though there may some Christian women in the egalitarian community who are fine using the word feminism for themselves. It seems that site is promoting equal rights for women. There is no, Well you missed a load of laundry, or The dishes are dirty type spanks in our home. The Bible advocates for stoning as do some Muslim countries. He warned me many times and told me to stop or I would regret it. We have no set rules so to speak. How Can He Learn It? Even the words used I think make some women question whether it is wrong or not. Jesus said to the Pharisees, Give me a break. For anyone wanting many more articles, and explanations, and rebuttals to the sexist views Im sure not everyone will agree with me, but in light of common sense and Jesus character, its what makes sense to me. You need to give their views more serious study and attention. Not to mention any basic understanding of Ezer Kenegdo where most of it starts concerning this issue. Youre quoting a rule or law which only applied under the Old Covenant, for the Jews. Dad took off my slacks and panties and handed the strap to my husband. You are, by your writing, an intelligent adult. Any marriage in which one partner is exerting control over the other IMHO is wrong. I do not ask you to embrace this way of life, the only thing I ask you is to stop being on the wrong side of history with these disguting tactics. We have six wives and 8 unmarried women including our daughters in the class. Instead, I understand that person to be trapped in a self-destructive pattern of addiction. Previously I have shown Domestic Discipline to be both a Biblical concept as well as a historical practice amongst husbands for thousands of years on my Instagram page @biblicalsexandiscipline and on my blog Biblicalgenderroles.com as well as podcasts series on BGRLearning.com. Previously I have shown Domestic Discipline to be both a Biblical concept as well as a historical practice amongst husbands for thousands of years on my Instagram page @biblicalsexandiscipline and on my blog Biblicalgenderroles.com as well as podcasts Michael is worried sick over his wife's whereabouts, and he's determined to put a stop to her irresponsible behavior. It is insidious that this practice has continued in the name of God and Christianity. If accusations of anger are routinely hurled as thought stoppers by Christian tyrants everywhere, just think how effective wolf must think it will have been to accuse you of rage. There may be role-plays or dressing up. I looked up the Bible scriptures that are used as examples those Bible scriptures are not saying for your husband to hit you its saying spare the rod and spoil the child, CHILD being the operative word not spare the rod and spoil your wife. Christian Domestic Discipline / Spencer Respect and Submission in domestic discipline Respect and Submission are of particular importance in a marriage because the standard marriage vows for the bride always included the phrase to love, honor and obey her husband. He has already had too much of your life. Trouble is, he will not be able to help himself. My bad experiences hardened me and now my marriage is helping me relax my rigid boundaries.I always said that I would never leave the city and here I am willingly becoming a country housewife. Mrs. Submission, christianforums.net, 10. But just like a chocolate addict will eat carob in moments of dire necessity. So-called Christian domestic discipline occurs in a marriage when one or both partners use biblical support to rationalize an unscriptural and un-Christian lifestyle. Deborah and the no available men argument, Benevolent sexism: Men who open doors for women can be as sexist as those who are rude to them, study finds, http://cryingoutforjustice.com/2015/07/03/a-typical-characteristic-of-an-abuser-he-never-stops-trying/, http://www.huffingtonpost.com/william-d-chalmers/the-great-american-passpo_b_1920287.html, http://www.nacr.org/wordpress/160/the-f-word-forgiveness-and-its-imitations, Spiritual Sounding Boards Top 10 Blog posts of 2015 | Spiritual Sounding Board, Spiritual Sounding Board: The Legacy That a Defamation Lawsuit Left to the Survivor Community | Spiritual Sounding Board, Wife Asks for Input Regarding Her Husband Who Paddles Her | Spiritual Sounding Board, https://spiritualsoundingboard.com/2016/06/30/wife-asks-for-input-regarding-her-husband-who-paddles-her/, Spiritual Sounding Board: Updating the Legacy Year 5 | Spiritual Sounding Board, Thoughts on the NRO Essay Advice For Incels by Kevin D. Williamson Christian Pundit, What is in a Name: When Your Spouse Refuses to Call You ByName, Classical Conversations #1: The Good, The Bad, and TheUgly, Greg Morse at Desiring God Laments StrongWomen. There is a judge and there is a criminal, the judge proclaims a sentence against the criminal which is carried out. Just chalk it up to your personal preference and call it a day. After a while I learned that this was really Gods plan for the household and wanted it for myself when I was married. Sometimes, he will seek my input about rules or behavior standards. Its not called beatings or abuse, which is what it is. So, a wife divorcing her husband unless she was independently wealthy was quite possibly a death sentence. Lone Voice said. I want any other women reading this to know that your (Lone Voices) position is NOT biblical, and God created women to lead and teach men if he gifted them in those areas, and God created women to be equals with men in marriage. Why isnt child spanking just as abusive as wife spanking? What do you mean by Feminist site? Ok, so this is more widespread than I suspected if its crossing over into charismatic churches. You are in error. Now no one complains to the Pastor at Bible school anymore I can tell you. He can even be a bit bossy at times. Lydia: Just saying my exegesis (please note the spelling) is wrong does not establish that it is. A few folks are gonna paddle each other. This practice is about two consenting adults who are free to leave the relationship at any time, period. Other times, my husband will listen, thank me for my input, but tell me that we are going to go with another answer. This subject makes me sick. Even if I were to make a pledge, my father would have nothing to do with it. Jamin said [redacted] tried to leave the bedroom and walked into his hands. What a heartless bunch. My father told me as a young teenager, rape is not that big of a deal. Lets discusshymens. For instance, those who practice domestic discipline often cite scripture that calls for wives to submit to their husbands. And then to quote half of 1Cor 7:4! Its only by bringing the two together under complete subjection to Christ by both parties that the marriage will ever be complete. Anonymous, musingsofaministerswife.com, 11. The professionals are the ones to turn to. Anderson saying, Its not common for someone to hurt themselves because theyre desperate for their husbands attention and their husbands not giving them the love they need and so they wack themselves. Junia was a female apostle who taught men. Months later, I finally reported on the topic of wife spanking in this article:The Christian Patriarchy Movements Dark Secret of WifeSpanking. This is your warning. They are not like traditional couples who improvise a relationship and work it out on the go. Except the exegeises you have been taught, does contradict. From what you describe, it sounds like he had a sense of entitlement over you you were an object to be owned rather than a cherished wife to be treasured and loved. You people that believe that spanking is abuse you have no comperhesion as to what its like deal with a hellish marriage and the damage on children. Women get to be slaves for men, while men lounge about reading their bibles trying to find bible verses that support their new sadistic fetishes to heap on their wives and children. Have a great day. God made us women to serve and obey our husbands because he knows they needed help mates. As far as your point is made. You simply cannot say that as the visitors at my site are widely diverse. Your views are not applicable and do not work for women who are in poverty, who live in other nations, and who are never-married, widowed, infertile, divorced. Jesus and Paul went with out sex. Deborah cursed Barak for not taking his proper male role, and the Apostle Paul, knowing all about Junia, still says a woman may not usurp authority over a man. It seems like my husbands leadership skills have developed so strongly. I found an old post of yours from last year. [I then asked Lauren if shed be willing to share her story anonymously.]. I wouldnt say the link I gave was to a feminist site so much as it is a Christian egalitarian site, the two not being the same thing. When the man takes charge and makes really good, well-thought-out (and prayed for) decisions, its pretty easy for wives to submit. (Daisy, it is my hope and prayer, by the way, that in the cases I disagree with you, I do so without being disagreeableblessings to you, and my apologies for when I fail in this). I asked [redacted] how it made her feel emotionally, if she was scared for her life. Not only him, but the church and the people there. I see only 3.5% of Americans traveled overseas in 2009 (when the study was done). At the very least, the reality is miles away from what you are trying to make it, please do your research. So when I serve my husband its not out of weakness, but out of strength. Julie Anne, like Daisy, you too are filtering the Bible through experiences as well as using a logical non-sequiter. It was not like he was drunk and beating me with his fists. Beyond praying for their victims, and calling the police in instances where we have knowledge of actual abuse, there is nothing we can do or say that will make a difference. With regards to this new craziness, deepen your research and you will find that it was very common for men to spank their wives, to the point that archives of advertising campaigns referring to this then cultural norm can easily be found online. Julie Anne, like Daisy, you too are filtering the Bible through experiences as well as using a logical non-sequiter. Its brilliant. Each jurisdiction has its own laws and its own policies for how law enforcement deal with domestic abuse. It never occurred to me to suppose that 100pinkapples might not be a Christian. [redacted] did not report the incident right away because she was afraid of retaliation and did not know what to do. I love him with or without discipline, but to be honest I really want it in my life. We need to consider the importance of thecorrelation of. Reading this comment section is like reading a handbook of how liberal thinkers (and do not assume that I am a conservative), go about turning people who think differently than them into mentally sick people. And helpful. But just like a chocolate addict will eat carob in moments of dire necessity. You choose to call it domestic discipline. But over it all was always this sense of control and he was the man. My wedding vows included a vow to obey and he would often remind me that God commanded wives to submit and obey their husbands as they were supposed to do towards Christ. Lauren and I exchangede-mails (edited slightly for brevity) and Lauren gave me permission to share with you our conversation,in the hopes that it will help other wives and also shed light on this dark secret in Christianity: BRAVO for you!! . Yes, that makes a lot of sense it was a normal progression for you. Im so glad you found the strength to leave your abusive marriage. Comfortable, but very childish, very full coverage stuff. I take it that you are a man pretending to be a woman. It seems that both of these components make it much more likely for a woman to be the victim of domestic violence/wife spanking. Since that law came out in 2004, I have yet to hear of a spanking incident as such, and I havent even seen anyone spank their child in public. Period. And there goes the bitter card. In 1Cor 7:4, the wife and the husband having power or authority over each others bodies is in the context of them not refusing each other conjugal relations (due benevolence). My husband is in seminary to be a music minister and I noticed that he doesnt spank me like he used to. 1 Peter 3:7. So thank you, from the bottom of my heart! Should we follow suit? Honestly I feel like I feel like these testimonials are written by perverts mostly old men who never had have been married or just absolutely disgusting men who are trying to make this normal I dont think these are actually written by real people actually experiencing this mess because quite honestly I would hope if you were that much of a Christian, that much in a head of household relationship your husband would not be comfortable with you describing your sore, red bottom if so he is as much of a pervert as that Pastor was. If kink is your thing, thats your thing, but dont sit there and try to convince me or anyone else you got kink from the Bible because you sure as heck did not. As far as I can see, no one in this conversation is opposed to the Bible or its teachings, but to your interpretation of them. All of that IS ok? But even then, it is always amazing how Eph 5:21 always ignored. And no, the experiences, however bad, do not nullify the word of God. Its a logical progression. Ahhh, proof-texting. All of these questions and more are answered in this podcast series. The ones who claim they enjoy it have psychological issues, but its not due to wanting to be abused that is sick. It is not because you happen to discover it now that it is new thing. Did you find someone to share with? Who cares? Plausible? 100pinkapples: I am so sorry you have been so badly treated. He was so different than the other Christians I had met, many of whom tormented my Jewish best friend and my completely secular family. Careful, Julie Anne, true alpha females dont go over the top. WebThen I went to college and met my husband James, and became a Christian. Since then, the most common search term whichbrings people to the blog iswife spanking. Some of the search phrases make me want to vomit. I dont think a Husband has the right to ask his wife to sin.But we are not given the wisdom God gives our husband they are superior to us, we are inferior my Minister teaches us this in our Wives and young girls Bible class Bible class. Now, I will agree that vengeance itself is best left to God (and my experience is that He is quite good at it when we leave it to Him), but where people like wolf demand forgiveness, they contemptibly do at least two things: 1. But unlike the "Cry U.S.E." a forensic psychologist who evaluates and treats sexual psychopaths and is the author of a book on abuse. Did you tell him why you were leaving? My sexually sadistic father found this to be a great way to sexually torture women and little girls and get away with it. As for the judgment here power imbalance, physically hurting your partner, enjoying hurting your partner, sexualizing the pain, making your partner believe that you are the good and right adult while she is the bad child who deserves punishment, etc. Pat Robertson talks about moving to Saudi Arabia, so that makes me want to tell Lauren to move to Canada. The best part of domestic discipline is what has happened emotionally between this long-time married couple. I offer personal advice and mentorship in marriage to men or women who contact me. Then my dad and my husband had coffee while I stood in the corner and dad talked to my husband about being head of household. In order to have an honest justice and economic system, every citizen must have equal rights under a legal system that is uniformly enforced. . Christianity is a great world view for men who know very well they are unwanted by most women. Because people are increasingly dissatisfied by the standard domestic arrangements proposed by social scientists are looking for alternative arrangements more in line with human nature. Either they think you are into some sort of kinky lifestyle or they think you are a mindless doormat. And I was told that since I was acting immaturely, this was the consequence. [redacted] never told the investigating deputy the truth about what was going on that night because Jamin told her they would both be arrested, and law enforcement would take their children away. How come society thinks women arent bright enough to dial 911? She knew her Bible inside out, she just keeps quoting the Old Testament over and over. Yet I was expected to call him sir at all times and I was often addressed as young lady or little girl, which was a constant put-down that made me feel small and powerless. Regarding your link, Id actually view the success of 50 shades as a consequence of so many women not having an example of real masculinity in their lifeso they go for the fake, which is Christian Gray or whoever. I think there were many times two which I was so disobedient that my parents would have not known what to do unless they had given me a spanking and set me straight. It doesnt matter if millions of legitimate lives deviating from the average are frustrated and destroyed in the process, these are just data points). 1Cor 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. 4000 kids a day get killed for being conceived in the wrong womb. Submission is not meant for badits meant to give us more freedom actually. Danielle, butlerpartyof3.com, 7. The woman you are concerned about is indeed at very high risk. No woman is squelched by wanting her man to take up his God-given authority and actually lead. Yes, Its true. Why are saddle-wearing men seen as free agents, capable of free thought, in direction of their own life? Im also arguing that you continue to blow bullshit and try to make it sound like wisdom. There is a beautiful surrender that comes with allowing myself to be vulnerable and submissive. 5 But if her father forbids her when he hears about it, none of her vows or the pledges by which she obligated herself will stand; the Lord will release her because her father has forbidden her. Our church also pushed heavily this idea of modesty even at young levels. Keep asking, keeping phoning, keep knocking on doors. You just posted most of my rapist and fathers favorite bible verses. These women are most of the time mature, mentally strong and educated. But when you seriously contend that there mere fact that our Lord appeared first to women and told them to tell the men negates the creation ordinance, Deborahs curse of wimpy Barak and the clear words of the Holy Spirit on this subject through the Apostle Paul, then I suggest you have really lost touch with the will of God. (Ill let her tell you one way or the other, if she wants to.). In the case you need to discipline your wife while on a voyage, you know you can do so without attracting attention. When this day happens, the laws will already have been written but will not be enforced or taken seriously anymore, so with many regards, the state of women will be worse than it used to be because theyll be nothing clear they can do to improve their fate. She has has been hospitalized many times due to his abuse but somehow he has used his position and influence to escape legal action each time. Im about the only one here who actually quotes scripture. In the above examples, we see non-denominational, charismatic/evangelical, Reformed Presbyterian denominations represented. Beware of your own Post-Traumatic Disorders and aspire to respect individual freedoms in general and freedom of religion in particular.